There is no perfect answer to the question posed, and no one has written down the rules. However, it is one of the most important aspect of childcare starting from the toddler stages and extending to the teenage years. Often, parents don’t know how to have this conversation and set expectations and guidelines for their nanny, child care provider, babysitter, or housekeeper. Giving these care providers some level of authority and setting proper boundaries is very critical in helping the child develop respect and discipline. Often, young and playful nannies don’t know how to initiate a conversation about discipline and authority with parents. It is important to start talking about this on day one with your nanny. One family on the Upper East Side of Manhattan has always had the problem of their kids making fun of and testing the nanny. These kids locked the nanny out; they made fun of her and would not listen to her directions. Of course the nanny was weak and should have taken charge of the situation, but the parents should have also warned her with information about the situation at home so that she could have been more prepared. Most kids are sweet and most nannies are strong enough to manage the kids, but there needs to be a conversation about expectations. Also, another family with tweens had the kids cursing at the housekeeper. These situations create new challenges for nannies; as the kids are their charges but not their children. Nannies will generally see a situation that needs work and know how to make it better. Within few weeks they have all the respect and appreciation from the whole family. No one can have just dessert, we all have to eat broccoli too! This family in Greenwich, CT asked for a nanny that is assertive; it was the first sign of openness and clarity about the situation at home. Each family is different, and we have to find the right fit of command, warmth, discipline and play. There is a right balance for each, but it only comes as the result of good communication between all parties involved.
Archive for the ‘New York City’ Category
sharing the disciplining of children and babies with nannies/care providers
Thursday, February 18th, 2010appreciation: a motivator for your child care, elder care, chef and nanny service providers
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010At LifeWorx, one of our chefs Greg, who provides full time Personal Chef Service to a client in Manhattan, New York, always sends us warm greetings and appreciation about the personal chef job we found for him in Manhattan, NY. He does not shower us with unnecessary praise, rather he is humble and on the mark about what he likes about working with LifeWorx. In one of the most recent notes we received from him, Greg said, “As always I am grateful to you for guiding me toward my position with Rose. Looking back at the past 2 years I do see that I have been guided by powers greater then myself and I have been very lucky. I also realize that there are many people suffering now who have little or insufficient work and I pray that things change for them and for all of us very soon.”
Greg is not just lucky; he is extremely professional, skilled and appreciative. His boss in New York, NY is also extremely appreciative of his chef services. The appreciation that she provides to him fosters the growth of their relationship, and she provides clarity and honesty which motivates him and makes Greg provide the best possible chef service in NYC that he can. There are many times when appreciation may go to an individual’s ego. For many individuals who have never experienced genuine appreciation, they misperceive it as a weakness in the boss and start to claim their righteousness and demand immediate benefits or pay increase. It is the equivalent of a lit match that never saw any fuel before- as he or she is appreciated; the ego gets fuller as opposed to the level of effort or skills.
I recently visited India and 42 of my extended family members went to a resort and we took a personal chef with us. Each meal that the chef and his help provided to our extended family was with a unique cuisine, and it was incredibly fresh and healthy. Of course some of it was traditional while other courses included fusion cuisine from all over the world. On the last day, all of my family members personally thanked him for his outstanding service and delightful meals. The glow on his face has been etched into my memory forever. He served the best meals and all of the appreciation went right to his heart rather then to his ego.
For information on Chef Services provided by LifeWorx, visit http://lifeworx.com/services/chef.html
women who nurture and help me grow
Thursday, October 29th, 2009People around us help us grow. In my last fifteen years as a single parent I have had the fortune of many talented ladies who have cared for me and brought me lasting joy. Helen Ansari my aerobics, zumba and yoga instructor at the Saw Mill Club in Mount Kisco, New York gave me the gift of great health. It is hard to believe that I have been taking her exercise classes for the last 20 years. She cares and motivates everyone to do their best, but above all she is talented at making the workout exciting. Helen is a breast cancer survivor and active with ACS. Darya, our god sent housekeeper, was amazing at helping my family with housecleaning, cooking and childcare. She helped us for four years. I have been fortunate to have two massage therapists, one for five years and another, more recently, for two years. Ali, from Cold Springs, NY massaged away all my tensions but unfortunately, three years ago she moved to Vermont. Now Kristen from New York City heals and helps me. She has the talent to make anyone’s body and mind soar from the depths of tensions, aches, and pains! Terry was my dance instructor and Marcia provided executive coaching. And Adalita makes my home spic and span. She is extremely reliable and trustworthy like the sunshine in San Diego. Also, all my lady friends have taught me how to have some fun.
My late wife Candy was always nurturing our home, our son, and our family. She adapted to all the challenges of life in stride. She taught me how to relate to people on their level and every level.
My mom taught me courage, effort, and integrity. From as early as I can remember to the day she passed away – for all of her 85 years of life – she found ways to enjoy life. For my mom, work was worship and family was joy. I feel the same way.
We all have choices in life – which people to keep around us for example, to nurture, make our lives simple, and help us grow. I am fortunate and grateful to have an amazing group of talented, caring, and nurturing people to help me. Now I am working on giving back to all those people that need it, particularly moms.
our first family
Tuesday, August 18th, 2009Our First Family …. The first family that LifeWorx worked with is composed of 3 brothers and sisters, and they are a group of one of the nicest people we have ever serviced. We provide an assortment of services for all of the family members, and they call us whenever they need anything from LifeWorx. The family has multiple residences in New York City, Lower Westchester and the Hamptons. Last week, their cousin called up requesting one of our personal chefs.
How did LifeWorx ever get this much trust and respect? I believe we have accumulated this trust and respect over time due to the quality, transparency and strength of the relationship. The first time we ever sent our price sheet to our clients, we worried about our competition. To combat this fear, six months ago, we put all of our pricing on the LifeWorx website so that every prospect knows that our prices are standard whether they have a two bedroom condominium or 20,000 sq feet luxury estate in Greenwich, CT. One of my utmost personal passions is transparency of information in the services we provide. When you go to a dry cleaner, a hairdresser, a bank or an accountant, all of these places would receive more trust from prospects if they displayed their prices openly and honestly, ultimately removing the guessing game and receiving a higher bill after the services were completed. There should no longer be a guessing game when it comes to compensation, which is why we have chosen to display all of our service prices very openly.
As for the first family we work with, I continue to get joy out of talking to any one of the family members, because they respect LifeWorx and truly appreciate what we do for them. When their housekeeper goes on vacation, we find them the best temporary fill-in, even if it is just for a week. No one has to worry about laundry, healthy meals and toddler care arrangements. LifeWorx is able to take care of them so that they can go away and come home to a stress free environment.