2009 « LifeWorx Blog | Nanny | Child Care | Elder Care | in Westchester, Manhattan, & Fairfield

Archive for 2009

working mother new year resolutions

Thursday, December 31st, 2009

The Chinese have a concept of the“year of” for every New Year. If I have to declare the “year of” for 2010, it would be the year of Women, or the year of Moms. Moms are amazing. Mothers have taken on more responsibility and leadership every single year, from child care, to elder care, to making the home an amazing place. Women are also powerful executives, powerful forces in the higher education realm and driving forces in many community service projects. I have witnessed many women in my life taking care of elderly parents. Every employee at LifeWorx speaks with Mothers all day long, and we serve many working Mothers throughout Westchester, NY, Fairfield, CT and Westport, CT. Many of these Mothers in CT & Westchester are single, married, and some are even taking care of multiple children, as well as running the entire household. We believe this is more than a full time job, and commend these powerful women for taking charge in so many different areas of their lives.

In the current recession, women have continued working while many of their husband have been laid off. Of the 10 million job losses, ¾ of these losses have been men. How long with women continue to work so hard without receiving any time of relief? I say this not to discount the role of men, because as a male provider, we work very hard too. However, my sensitivity toward women is because they take on more physical and emotional challenges as they become overloaded. Many of these efforts have not yet been recognized by society at large.

Here is a suggestion for New Years Resoltuions for Busy Moms:

Take 4 hours a week for yourself
Take the time to enjoy a book you have been anxiously awaiting
Take a walk
Join a new yoga class
Go to the gym and enjoy a great working
Find a new hobby with a friend that you find fulfilling

Consider this as a time you are investing in yourself in order to give more to your family, and ultimately to yourself. Many times throughout parenthood, I felt guilty and worried when I took time to take care of myself. This was a mistake! I now know that taking this personal time is vital in becoming a stronger and more balanced individual. It is important to take these New Years Resolutions in steps. Simple resolutions and suggestions such as taking 4 hours for myself every week became manageable, simple, flexible and valuable.

Posted in De-stress, Fairfield CT, Family, Moms, Westchester NY, Westport CT | No Comments »

happy thanksgiving with a positive attitude in tough times

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

As a business owner, I, like many of you, have been worried about the economy for most of this year. The job market has gotten worse for most Americans and the economy is improving very slowly. How can we reflect on this with a bit more courage than fear? When I was in the high school, a teacher once told me that the things we consider to be stressful are nothing compared with the stress of thousands of years ago. The teacher said, “Imagine being on a farm and living in a small community of 100 or so people in the middle of Mexico, or a settlement of Native Americans outside of New York along the Hudson River.” The memory was tucked away somewhere in my head and it keeps coming back to me when I see myself overly worried. The teacher said, “When they lived in these communities a long time ago, they sowed seeds and counted on rain for the crop to grow, harvest and provide the essential food. Often, there were droughts for 2-3 years in a row, all of the farm animals died, the community was malnourished and they wondered among the few survivors who would die next.” She exclaimed, “That is stressful!”

This provides us with a perspective to allow all of us to accept everything that comes our way in life. Please don’t get me wrong, I enjoy luxuries, but when there are emotional challenges or stressful moments, I reflect on two main things… (1) That what I am facing is little compared to others and (2) That we as humans have tremendous capacity to handle stress. To conquer stress, we need to be aware of it, put it in perspective and find ways to de-stress. Doing yoga in 100 degree weather in India is of course a great way to de-stress. The other thing that gives us the ability to handle stress and challenge is a mindset to justify it as “God’s” way of sending me to the School of Emotional Growth”. We go to school and college to build intellectual growth, we go to the gym and run on the trail to get physically fit, we visit church or temple or a retreat to get religion or spiritual growth and we enjoy parties and events to build relational maturity. However, the two most important things we have with us are instincts and emotional strength. These are brought to us through generations and these are assets of much higher value then the economy. We know the economy will come back and hope it comes back soon for our community. Happy Thanksgiving and hope everyone finds lots of love peace and joy.

Posted in Agency, De-stress, Perspective | No Comments »

what is the priority: simplicity vs. perfection?

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

A client from Rowayton, CT asked “Should I get a nanny to take care of my baby and a housekeeper to take care of my house, or should there be only one person to do both childcare and cleaning?” Another client asked, “Should I get a chef for nutritious and fresh dinners and a housekeeper for our Bedford, NY home or a fairly good cook and a housekeeper, both in one?” Many clients have said that they can employ a bright person and train them and save some money or re-train a childcare, elder care or chef service provider who is very skilled and excels in a specific duty. All of these are good questions about best practices regarding child care, elder care and nannies. The answer depends on how much time you have and your priorities about your children, home, family and nutrition. You can then find a perfect solution to your exact needs if you have reasonable expectations, have time to search on your own, or have money to hire an agency to work for you. Some of LifeWorx’ clients have estates and large residences and have 3-10 staff, including child care, elder care, nanny or chef service providers working on the estate. In these cases, the competence and teamwork become the most important attribute since they have an estate manager to manage people. On your own, however, you do not want more then three people working in your home at a time. The best option would be preferably having two people working in your home. A family in Greenwich, CT is looking for both perfection and simplicity which comes at a 20% premium in cost. Such individuals with breadth of skill, great personality and flexibility are in short supply. In today’s world, cost is critical to everyone, and there is so much specific talent available. A little bit of research and networking can bring good long term household help to the family. At LifeWorx we pride ourselves in our child care; elder care and chef service providers because we are very selective and aim to make our clients lives simple so they can spend more time doing the things they love. In today’s world, research and networking can bring good long term household help to families with both skills and simplicity.

Posted in Bedford NY, Chef, Child Care, Greenwich CT, Housekeeper, Nanny, Rowayton CT | No Comments »

women who nurture and help me grow

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

People around us help us grow. In my last fifteen years as a single parent I have had the fortune of many talented ladies who have cared for me and brought me lasting joy. Helen Ansari my aerobics, zumba and yoga instructor at the Saw Mill Club in Mount Kisco, New York gave me the gift of great health. It is hard to believe that I have been taking her exercise classes for the last 20 years. She cares and motivates everyone to do their best, but above all she is talented at making the workout exciting. Helen is a breast cancer survivor and active with ACS. Darya, our god sent housekeeper, was amazing at helping my family with housecleaning, cooking and childcare. She helped us for four years. I have been fortunate to have two massage therapists, one for five years and another, more recently, for two years. Ali, from Cold Springs, NY massaged away all my tensions but unfortunately, three years ago she moved to Vermont. Now Kristen from New York City heals and helps me. She has the talent to make anyone’s body and mind soar from the depths of tensions, aches, and pains! Terry was my dance instructor and Marcia provided executive coaching. And Adalita makes my home spic and span. She is extremely reliable and trustworthy like the sunshine in San Diego. Also, all my lady friends have taught me how to have some fun.

My late wife Candy was always nurturing our home, our son, and our family. She adapted to all the challenges of life in stride. She taught me how to relate to people on their level and every level.

My mom taught me courage, effort, and integrity. From as early as I can remember to the day she passed away – for all of her 85 years of life – she found ways to enjoy life. For my mom, work was worship and family was joy. I feel the same way.

We all have choices in life – which people to keep around us for example, to nurture, make our lives simple, and help us grow. I am fortunate and grateful to have an amazing group of talented, caring, and nurturing people to help me. Now I am working on giving back to all those people that need it, particularly moms.

Posted in Cold Springs NY, De-stress, Housekeeper, Moms, Mount Kisco NY, New York City | No Comments »

helping moms de-stress

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

I attended the “Go Red for Women Round Table Forum” last Friday at the Hilton in Rye Brook, New York and heard approximately 100 attendees share their experiences about being a mom! There were professional moms, moms of five kids, moms with three step kids, entrepreneurial moms, working late at night moms, young moms, pre-menopausal moms, cancer survivor moms, cardiovascular disease survivor moms, yoga moms, soccer moms, real moms, super moms etc. All of the moms discussed the things that keep them awake at night and what to do about them. The forum was full of great ideas and successful stress reducing techniques. For example, there was a mom cardiologist who brought awareness to the issue that moms have a lot of stress and need to take care of themselves. She talked about letting go, not feeling guilty, doing only what you can, and not sweating what you can’t get done. She went on to suggest getting the kids involved to make household chores easier, taking time for yourself, getting your nails done, not competing with other moms, and finally, being comfortable with yourself. All of the ideas shared were great ideas. Here are the 5 key nuggets from the forum for reducing stress:

Make a list of what you want to do along with what you don’t want to do
Use your emotional and intellectual strength to execute
Find time to recharge yourself
Let go of stuff that does not bring lasting value
Delegate the tasks that you can do at work, at home, and everywhere else

At LifeWorx, we try to bring moms peace and rest by providing good help at their home. By having an implemented strategy of organization, process, and systems, we can gather a team of professionals to take charge and provide reliable, trustworthy and much needed help to busy moms. None of our experts will replace a mom; her work is precious, but one day when we have helped all moms, we will sleep well too.

Posted in De-stress, Kids, Moms | No Comments »

communication tips for conversing with your nanny and child care provider

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Clients develop very personal relationships with their nannys and child care providers and view them as family members. Other clients view the relationship as more delineated and solely develop working relationships with their nannies. Each family is unique and each nanny or child care provider is special. When my wife was around many years ago, she treated household help as family. Any household help that came to our house in Chappaqua, NY received a glass of juice, food from our refrigerator and warm conversations with my Wife. Some of the nannys and child care providers talked about their family in great depth to her.

Nilsa, a 16 year old high school student from Ossining, New York, would frequently come over and tell her intimate stories regarding her family situation. My wife enjoyed guiding this girl and giving her sound advice. Today I am a single parent, and I have had the opportunity to see the working relationship with staff from all angles. When Darya, a nanny from Pleasantville, NY, wanted to talk with me and be social, I was too consumed with my son, and the general challenges of running a household and a career. It was much more difficult for me to find time to converse with my nanny at that time.

As the premier child care, elder care and nanny service provider in Westchester, NY and Fairfield CT for over 5 years, I now have more time and emotional strength to devote to my relationship with my nanny. Today, I make sure I spend time to sit and talk with Adalita, a LifeWorx housekeeper from New Rochelle, NY. Even though there is a language barrier between us, we still sit down and have a glass of wine and discuss what is going on in her life. Adalita is like family to me, and I have enjoyed getting to learn about her life experiences.

It is important to remember that we all choose the level of interaction we are comfortable with pertaining to our nannies and child care providers. My wife and I each chose different levels of interactions with our household help at different points in our lives. Your household help is always looking to the homeowner to provide a sense of belonging, and make them feel comfortable. After all, your nanny and child care providers spend all day in your home and get to know your family very well. Regardless of what you choose to be the most appropriate level of connection and communication with your child care provider and nanny, be sure to be consistent. Older child care helpers frequently like to give advice, and younger child care helpers like the nurturing you can provide to them about past life experiences as well as raising a family.

At LifeWorx, our child care and nannies undergo an extensive background check. We carefully evaluate potential child care experts to weed out candidates that are excessively chatty, or candidates that are extremely shy, as these types may not fit in well in a typical household that we service.

Here are 5 tips for more effective communication with your child care provider and nanny:

Share how much you would like to interact with your nanny
Share communication expectations with your nanny and set reasonable limits
Agree on a level of social interaction that works best for you or agree on a level of non-work interaction that works for you
Be prepared for a few rough days; just as you can have a tough day your child care provider may also be struggling and may vent to you
Be consistent regardless of which communication technique you choose

Remember, not everyone always has a perfect week or month. Even if you have a clear cut communication plan set with your nanny or child care provider, they too can have occasional bad days. Sometimes your nanny may feel that you are the closest person to turn to as they spend so much time around your family. However, if it becomes a pattern that you become uncomfortable with, it may be important to address this with your nanny and re-structure your communication expectations.

Posted in Chappaqua NY, Child Care, Nanny, Pleasantville NY | No Comments »

why it is important to pay your housekeeper on time

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

iStock_000001753846XSmall Money is as much of a commodity as one can imagine. A dollar is dollar, whether it is in your wallet, in your purse, on your desk, lying on the sidewalk or in a vault. Money is the same whether it is made of pennies or made of quarters or a mud laden one dollar bill. Money is the only part of a service or product that is a pure quantifiable transaction. As a veteran of the corporate world for over 20 years, I have a lot of experience with issues that can arise with handling money. One time, I made the mistake of not giving one of my employees the exact raise that I orally agreed to give him. I was a bit casual about the agreement because to me, money means only a small part the overall process of working that I receive so much satisfaction from. Unfortunately, not everyone else looks at work and money this way, and I received a huge mouthful from my boss about this. It turns out that the employee complained to my boss that he had not been paid on time. I will never forget that moment! It was embarrassing, and made me realize how important it is to keep the exact commitment you agree upon regarding any money issues in the work place.

In the nanny world, paying your housekeeper on time is extremely important. The entire dynamic of your relationship with your housekeeper can be thrown off if you forget to pay your housekeeper, or if you do not keep your commitment to them. While this may seem trivial to some, paying funds on time is very important to most individuals, especially to nannies and housekeepers. This is one exchange with your housekeeper that actually needs the least amount of energy and effort. If you do it right, you will in turn bring consistency and reliability in your relationship with your housekeeper.

Here are 4 tips to increase an efficient money management relationship with your housekeeper

Always pay your housekeeper on time
Always pay your housekeeper the exact amount that you agreed upon
Always pay your housekeeper with respect
Pay your housekeeper without being asked to pay

In the Corporate world, we often take this for granted as many of Americans have opted for “direct deposit.” Imagine if every time you were due to be paid your employer “forgot” or said “I will pay you next week.” You would imagine that this would create a certain level of resentment, and your work would most likely be affected. In order to maintain a healthy level of respect with your housekeeper, keep these money management tips in mind. They will go a long way and create a mutually beneficial relationship for both parties involved.

For housekeepers who are on the receiving end, it is important to receive money with gratitude. Housekeepers should feel free to share any issue regarding the check amount if the amount does not seem correct, or if it differs from the amount agreed upon. Angela, a LifeWorx nanny from Stamford, CT, says that on Fridays her boss routinely forgets to go to the bank and promises to pay her on the following Monday. What a way to put a damper in the otherwise perfectly healthy working relationship with your housekeeper!

As the CEO of LifeWorx, I believe fair pay at a scheduled time is an essential part of the working agreement with your housekeeper. This will ensure that no one will steal your help. Remember to give your housekeeper respect, fair pay and a consistent workload. Also, be very careful about paying in advance, as this may create future problems with your housekeeper’s personal money management system. Set a standard and communicate with your housekeeper and nanny about benefits, pay, holidays, pay for extra work and tipping. All of these money management tips will help you create a healthy working relationship with your housekeeper, and free up your time to spend more time doing the things you love, rather then worry about pay issues during your spare time.

Posted in Housekeeper, Nanny, Pay | No Comments »

our first family

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

Our First Family …. The first family that LifeWorx worked with is composed of 3 brothers and sisters, and they are a group of one of the nicest people we have ever serviced. We provide an assortment of services for all of the family members, and they call us whenever they need anything from LifeWorx. The family has multiple residences in New York City, Lower Westchester and the Hamptons. Last week, their cousin called up requesting one of our personal chefs.

How did LifeWorx ever get this much trust and respect? I believe we have accumulated this trust and respect over time due to the quality, transparency and strength of the relationship. The first time we ever sent our price sheet to our clients, we worried about our competition. To combat this fear, six months ago, we put all of our pricing on the LifeWorx website so that every prospect knows that our prices are standard whether they have a two bedroom condominium or 20,000 sq feet luxury estate in Greenwich, CT. One of my utmost personal passions is transparency of information in the services we provide. When you go to a dry cleaner, a hairdresser, a bank or an accountant, all of these places would receive more trust from prospects if they displayed their prices openly and honestly, ultimately removing the guessing game and receiving a higher bill after the services were completed. There should no longer be a guessing game when it comes to compensation, which is why we have chosen to display all of our service prices very openly.

As for the first family we work with, I continue to get joy out of talking to any one of the family members, because they respect LifeWorx and truly appreciate what we do for them. When their housekeeper goes on vacation, we find them the best temporary fill-in, even if it is just for a week. No one has to worry about laundry, healthy meals and toddler care arrangements. LifeWorx is able to take care of them so that they can go away and come home to a stress free environment.

Posted in Chef, Family, Hamptons, Housekeeper, Lower Westchester, New York City, Trust | No Comments »

feedback, the lifeblood of service

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

Anyone working in your home is counting on you to give feedback, a sense of belonging, and respect. As a former veteran of the corporate business world for 20 years, I have learned that working in Corporate America is very different than working with someone at home. Anyone I was working for or who worked for me had plenty of peers, colleagues, mentors and advisors. There were always group meetings, processes and systems to help us do our job well. All tools and techniques were available at our disposal to help us efficiently do what needed to be done. The entire organization effectively integrated our positions, and nurtured us as employees.

In the nanny world, everything operates very differently, and when someone works for you at your home it entirely revolves around you. Nannies, homemakers, child care professionals, chefs, and personal assistants look to you for support, feedback, advice and a sense of belonging. Even if they are fully experienced, professional and competent to do the job, these child care and elder care professionals need a personal or social connection to feel that they are doing a good job, and to personally feel good. This is an example of a basic human need which is often overlooked in the personal assistant world.

iStock_000004856891XSmall

As a parent and homeowner, I have sat down and had a glass of wine with my housekeeper from New Rochelle, NY, and shared stories about her children, despite her having poor language skills. My housekeeper will jump through hoops for me, not because I pay her an outrageous compensation, but because of the respect and warmth I offer to her. All of the service providers that come to the LifeWorx office receive a warm welcome, a cup of coffee and a chance to sit down and chat. Every professional we hire is the best available in their selective field, and we want to make sure they know it and receive positive praise and attention from us. We want them to know it, feel it, and live it.

However, getting too involved with the help in your home may take you down a path that is beyond your comfort zone. Fifteen years ago, my amazing housekeeper had issues about her daughter, ex-husband, church life and career. She would share these stories with me; even after I came home from a long day of work and wanted to relax. I would listen and make a few comments, but I never once told her that I do not have time to hear her share her life experiences with me. Sometimes her daughter would even come along to my house and spend time with us in my house. All of this was a small yet essential part of a creating a good home environment for the housekeeper. As a result of listening to my housekeeper share what was going on in her life, she was ultimately a better and more productive worker. Because I was so receptive to her, she was more receptive to hearing about duties and pending projects in the house that needed to be completed. A little act of kindness goes a long way, especially when we remember to treat others as we would like to be treated.

Posted in Feedback, Housekeeper, New Rochelle NY | No Comments »

lifecycle cost

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Our country is back in the saving mode. Anytime we purchase something, a product or service, it makes a lot of sense to look at all the costs that are incurred and assess the value we receive. Last week, I was at a sidewalk sale in New Canaan, CT. There were silk shirts for 50% off, reduced from $80, to $40… A steal. I was not totally thrilled with the color, but it looked like a good bargain. I started to reflect on how often I will use it and would I be excited to wear it often. The shirt would need to be sent to dry cleaning at $8/dry cleaning; I will probably spend $120 for 15 dry cleanings. Hence, the total cost of buying and using the shirt would be $ 160; still $40 less than the original cost of $200. Not a huge bargain though. If the product or service does not bring the value it is worth, the initial bargain gets washed away. No pun intended. The same logic applies to household help; nanny, babysitter, elder care provider, Chef or a housekeeper. Most families will spend about $30,000 to $50,000 for a full time household employee. Over 5 years these costs add up to $150,000 – $250,000, a significant cost, but an essential need for busy professionals and moms. Each individual service provider is different, and families need to make sure that the person working for you in your home is the best you can find for the duties, skills, personality and character. It takes effort to find this right person and any effort that you put in upfront will bring you years of rewards in terms of quality of life for your child, family and peace at home. In light of the implications, one should plan to spend about 80 hours if you are going to advertise and recruit a person yourself; 40 hours, if you are going to use your network and 10 hours; if you are planning to use a reputable agency. There is a right combination of pocket cost and time commitment choice for each family.

Posted in Agency, Child Care, Costs, Elder Care, Family, Housekeeper, Nanny, New Canaan CT | No Comments »

LifeWorx Blog